The dieters are on the loose!

As the New Year is starting to unfold and reveal what one might be able to anticipate in the time to come, the dieters come about full force. Those that are still head strong and others that were almost coerced into joining the “new adventure” that almost undoubtedly will end up with someone extremely pissed and another fully aware of what a huge success they were.

Here’s the thing, I’m super-duper happy for those that can go on and reach their goals (for reals! I am happy for them. Jealous even) however I detest how I end up feeling about myself. I either reach some of my goals but realize that my family had to endure the “Crazy-Super Healthy-Neurotic Momma” that I usually become during this time or I don’t reach my goals and become the “depressed-self-loathing Momma” that runs amuck for the next 6 weeks/months.

So this year I am supporting my dieting friends but not allowing the stuff to bring me down. I said allow right? HA! Wish it was that easy but unfortunately it is not. I am at the time of year where either I succeed in my endeavors or I fail miserably and fall into the well of despair. Almost as if I land in the “pit of despair” and they are about to use “the machine” on me to which won’t matter how many years of life they take because I’m already in tears. Anyway, as I was saying that this is the time that usually is a let the horns of glory blare in her triumph moment or a unleash the hounds of hell and let her know how disappointing she is to the whole clan; and I find myself catching the hounds as the howl in my direction and try to change my outlook towards everything. I keep repeating, “I am woman hear me” and that’s usually where I have to mentally change the words. I mean usually you hear the word ROAR immediately, right? Admit it, you said it in your head already, but what I heard is “I am woman, hear me …. Yeah, you can do it later” and I go on about my day eating my cake while looking at my weight loss goals going… “There is always tomorrow. Yeah, you can do it tomorrow. TOMORROW I WILL START IT FOR SURE!”  Knowing all too well, I have no intentions on doing it then either.

They say that if you tell 3 people your goals you will see it through. HAHAHAHA! Oh shit, they were serious?! What a crock of crap. I mean I’ve set goals and told people and not even 3 months later failed. Yes, I am a complete failure. I hope to change that and to start anew. Baby steps of course. So I started a blog again. I know, I know… “Oh my, a blog, whatever will you do?” said drenched in sarcasm.  If I can keep up a blog again and write about what ever (like I used to when I felt like an amazing person)… I will discover the way back from the Land of Failures.