It seems that after a certain
point in our lives we have created a stigma around ourselves that others have
come to know us only to be. If you were creative in school then you were arty
or crafty, if you had a knack for the theatrical then you could have been a
drama star/queen, or if you were sporty then of course you were a jock (if you
hung with them too), and those that study were nerds. Labels we placed on each
other throughout our lives and herding us into a direction that would shape who
we were not really caring if we possessed other talents. Once in a place/label
you start to then maintain your status and you get sucked into this mainstream of
thinking until it dawns on you that do not have to be that person everyone said
you were.
The problem with trying to change that is usually when someone else sees the change in you and decides that they don’t like whatever it is you are doing. Usually it is because they don’t like change or fear that you will leave them/their way of thinking, which they will try and convince you that it is wrong for you to do said change. Being that in their own insecurities they tell us how awful this change is but sometimes you are lucky and have a supporter that will be your personal cheerleader. Most of us tend to hang on to the words that are spoken to us. It goes back to the whole thing about “if said enough, you start to believe it” theory which does tend to happen more often than we would all like. I know that my four readers are saying “whatever, I’m a strong person and no one tells me what to think/say/do” but if you really think about it, we all influence each other daily. If you are constantly told that you are terrible at writing then guess what usually happens. Yup, you quit writing and don’t give it a second thought because you are positive that you suck at it suddenly. This goes with anything really (art, sports, parenting, the way you look, etc.). One of the things I try to keep in mind for my kids when saying anything because once the damage is done, then the whole attitude of just keeping up with what everyone expects starts to happen.
Perhaps this is why I personally don’t tell many people that I like to write. If I have one piece that is good, then they will probably be expecting more which I can’t honestly be sure to give them. OR they hate everything I write and beg me to please just stop. The less people truly know, the less I can disappoint and all I have to do is keep up with appearances that they do know about, and that keeps me in a safe bubble. Fear of rejection is huge in some decision making. The problem with doing that is clearly that you become unhappy with the status quo and suddenly need to stretch out (for lack of better words) those talents or you start to fall into a rut or downward spiral of self-destruction. Here is where it can get tricky because you can either share your talents or simply hide them away. Yes, I know that one of the four will no doubt be clawing her way to kick my arse because how dare someone not share their talents or think less of one-self. She is probably right and she does inspire people to be greater while accepting themselves for who they are (even though she needs to be reminded herself) so I can’t say I don’t deserve a beat down in that area, but it all goes back to self-preservation and keeping up appearances (this doesn’t just go with talents, but also with health, personal relationships, outward beauty, and just about anything really). How much do you hide to just keep up the status quo…
This is just some more rantings from a looney woman… :)
The problem with trying to change that is usually when someone else sees the change in you and decides that they don’t like whatever it is you are doing. Usually it is because they don’t like change or fear that you will leave them/their way of thinking, which they will try and convince you that it is wrong for you to do said change. Being that in their own insecurities they tell us how awful this change is but sometimes you are lucky and have a supporter that will be your personal cheerleader. Most of us tend to hang on to the words that are spoken to us. It goes back to the whole thing about “if said enough, you start to believe it” theory which does tend to happen more often than we would all like. I know that my four readers are saying “whatever, I’m a strong person and no one tells me what to think/say/do” but if you really think about it, we all influence each other daily. If you are constantly told that you are terrible at writing then guess what usually happens. Yup, you quit writing and don’t give it a second thought because you are positive that you suck at it suddenly. This goes with anything really (art, sports, parenting, the way you look, etc.). One of the things I try to keep in mind for my kids when saying anything because once the damage is done, then the whole attitude of just keeping up with what everyone expects starts to happen.
Perhaps this is why I personally don’t tell many people that I like to write. If I have one piece that is good, then they will probably be expecting more which I can’t honestly be sure to give them. OR they hate everything I write and beg me to please just stop. The less people truly know, the less I can disappoint and all I have to do is keep up with appearances that they do know about, and that keeps me in a safe bubble. Fear of rejection is huge in some decision making. The problem with doing that is clearly that you become unhappy with the status quo and suddenly need to stretch out (for lack of better words) those talents or you start to fall into a rut or downward spiral of self-destruction. Here is where it can get tricky because you can either share your talents or simply hide them away. Yes, I know that one of the four will no doubt be clawing her way to kick my arse because how dare someone not share their talents or think less of one-self. She is probably right and she does inspire people to be greater while accepting themselves for who they are (even though she needs to be reminded herself) so I can’t say I don’t deserve a beat down in that area, but it all goes back to self-preservation and keeping up appearances (this doesn’t just go with talents, but also with health, personal relationships, outward beauty, and just about anything really). How much do you hide to just keep up the status quo…
This is just some more rantings from a looney woman… :)
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